


Is It Really Kidnapping If The Kid You’re Napping Orchestrated It?

by IRegretNothingAndEverything



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Crying, Dadza, Gen, Grocery Store AU, Hurt/Comfort, Momza, Neglectful Parents, Ranboo gets illegally adopted, Running away from home, Texting, anyone you see only in the chats im not gonna tag i think, breakdowns, brief showing from Badboyhalo, group chats, he runs away to Philza, in the form of group chats
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:56:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29757189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IRegretNothingAndEverything/pseuds/IRegretNothingAndEverything
Summary: Ranboo's tired. He's so tired of them never being here for him, always off doing something that's so much more important than their flesh and blood child. He could have found out they had another family away from him, and he wouldn't have been surprised at all. On impulse, he packs up his entire room, everything he cares about, and leaves.
Relationships: Ranboo & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 129





	Is It Really Kidnapping If The Kid You’re Napping Orchestrated It?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [getouttamyswamp](https://archiveofourown.org/users/getouttamyswamp/gifts).
  * Inspired by [DreamSMP Grocery Store AU headcannons](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28393056) by [getouttamyswamp](https://archiveofourown.org/users/getouttamyswamp/pseuds/getouttamyswamp). 



> Hi I really like the grocery store au and for some reason, hurting Ranboo. But I make it better. 
> 
> Also the name is really inappropriate for the tone of this story but it's too funny to change aslfnwoeifjkl
> 
> Any of the typos in the texting bits are genuine typos i made and kept to keep the authenticity of texting

The house was empty. Again. As always. 

Ranboo had gotten very used to it, after so long of this nothing here, of the quiet where there should have been someone, of the empty fridge and empty stomach, of the lights sometimes going out because they forgot about him. 

He was far too used to it by now. 

Which isn’t something he should be used to, but that was only very recently coming to his attention, what with Phil and Kristin being there for him when his own parents couldn’t. 

No, it wasn’t even couldn’t, was it, Ranboo pondered, opening the fridge as that would magically fill it, as if someone looking down on him would take pity for him just this once. It was wouldn’t. They just didn’t want to. 

That hurt a bit more than Ranboo expected. 

He glanced to the calendar he kept pinned on the fridge, just to see how many days were left, his stomach churning in hunger. 

Four more days. 

It seemed like forever. 

And just like that, staring at this stupid novelty calendar they got for him last time, as if that would make up for months, years, of neglect, something in Ranboo snapped. 

He was tired. He was so so tired of all of this. And he was done. 

Ranboo turned away from the fridge, leaving it partially open, as if there was anything inside of it to spoil in the first place, moving almost mechanically to his room. It was one of the few places that wasn’t completely perfect with nothing showing anyone lived there. This room was lived in, unlike the rest of this god forsaken house. 

He called Philza. 

It rang twice before the elder picked up. “Hey mate.” 

“Can I stay with you?” 

There was silence, for a moment on the other end, and Ranboo didn’t let it get to him, not yet, starting to shove as much as he could into his collection of backpacks-they got him a new one each year, presents to make up for the fact that no one was there when he got an A on a test he was really worried about, or aced a science fair project he hurt himself in the backyard making-just to take it all, at least as much as he could get. 

“Of course, Ranboo. How long are-” 

“How long will you let me?” 

Another moment of silence. Ranboo dragged out a duffel bag, one he had gotten ages ago when he used to think that his parents might care enough to take him with. 

“Ranboo, what’s going on?” 

It was Ranboo’s turn to be silent, as he paused, then sniffled, realizing all at once that he was crying. He dragged a hand over his eyes, shaking so much worse than he thought he would be. 

“Ranboo?” 

“I’m tired. I’m so tired, Phil.” 

“I’m on my way, okay?” 

“Can you bring bags? I think I have enough but... just in case.” 

“Of course kiddo.” 

Phil didn’t hang up, but neither of them said anything. It felt safer, having him on the line just in case. 

All his clothing, the ones he wore, along with his work outfits, all fit into his duffel bag. Shoes and other nonsense fit into one of his collected backpacks. The rest was knick knacks he had collected during his time at the grocery store, presents from friends, posters and figurines he could never leave behind. School books, homework, all that nonsense was in his main backpack already, and Ranboo began to strip his bed of the bedding he cared about, the comfort pillow, the blanket he couldn’t sleep without, the collected plushies. Everything he could want he packed into as many of his bags as he could, leaving a pile on his bed for whatever Phil brought. 

His phone beeped, signaling the end of the call, just as Phil knocked on the front door. Ranboo paused for a moment, sniffling-he had been silently crying this entire time, and he was sure Phil knew-before pushing open his door, opening the front door to Phil, carrying three large empty bags in one arm, holding his phone in the other. Ranboo nearly broke just seeing him, but he stepped to the side, letting Phil walk into the house. Phil slipped his phone into his pocket, patting Ranboo’s arm, before letting him lead Phil into his room. 

“We can make multiple trips if we need to... they still won’t be home for a couple days, I just...” He hiccuped, shoulders shaking as he held back what was sure to be a break down of epic proportions. “I don’t wanna be here longer than I need to.” 

“I get it, mate.” Phil smiled at him, then the two of them finished packing up Ranboo’s room. The two of them managed to force everything to fit into all the bags, no matter what it took, until everything left was furniture they couldn’t take, and things Ranboo didn’t want, didn’t care about. 

Carrying the bags out took two trips, but it all fit into Phil’s care easily enough. Ranboo slid into the front seat of the car, hands shaking, and Phil sat in the driver’s seat, carefully sliding both of their phones into the cup holder-when had Ranboo put his phone down?-before turning the car back on, shifting into drive and carefully pulling away from the curb. 

The house disappeared when Phil turned a street corner, and all at once it came crashing down, and Ranboo sniffled, curling himself down, hunched over in the seat, god it was unsafe, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care, shoulders shaking as he tried so hard not to stop. 

One of Phil’s hands settled between his shoulder blades, rubbing his back carefully, and Ranboo broke and sobbed into his knees, hunched over like he was in the car. 

Ranboo barely registered when they pulled up into the garage of Phil’s home, until the hand left his back, and his door opened and Phil was half dragging him out, ignoring the way the seat belt was still on, and hugged him tight, one hand going into his hair and the other rubbing between Ranboo’s shoulders once more, humming softly, and Ranboo sobbed into his shoulder, shaking like a leaf as he did. 

He didn’t register the door opened, but he did note the way Phil stopped humming when another voice spoke, so he could answer, before going back to humming, and Ranboo began to calm, slowly. Not fully, he was still shaking, horribly, but he could feel the seat belt digging into his shoulder, could feel the cold of the garage settling around them, and realized Phil was kneeling on the ground outside the car door. 

Ranboo pulled away carefully, sniffling softly. He wasn’t sure if he was done, really, it still felt too tight, too much, but he had gotten out enough of it to move by now. Phil wouldn’t hear apologies, reaching over to unbuckle Ranboo, though he did accept Ranboo’s hand to come up off the floor, and then carefully pulled Ranboo out of the car, grabbed the last few bags as he did. Ranboo blinked, confused, before Kristin opened the door to the garage again and saw them holding the last couple, and smiled. 

“Good, you’re okay.” Ranboo smiled at her, sniffled and rubbing at his eyes with the heel of his hand. 

“Better at least.” He mumbled, voice hoarse from sobbing into Phil’s shoulder for who knows how long. 

They moved into the house, towards the back of the house to the room Ranboo had used when he had been sick and stayed over. It was just a guest room, but Ranboo felt far more connected to this room than he had back home. 

He dropped the bags he was carrying, Phil setting down his own near the bed, then held out Ranboo’s phone. Ranboo took it in shaking hands, and Phil smiled reassuringly, patting him carefully on the arm. 

“Ill get you something to eat. Wanna be alone, or do you wanna hole up in the living room?” 

The bottom of Ranboo’s stomach dropped when he thought about being alone. Carefully he held up two fingers, and Phil nodded, leading him out into the living room, where he settled on the couch to watch dumb movies for the night, still shaking the whole way.

When Phil asked, Ranboo just nodded, taking his plate from Kristin with a strained smile, and began to ignore the way his phone vibrated against his ribs. 

\--------------

_**Grocery Store FRICKS** _

_Friday 7:03 PM_

**Mr. Minecraft:** Quick Update that Ranboo okayed: Ranboo’s with me. He ran from home, and is gonna be staying with me and Kristin for the foreseeable future. 

**Big Man** : fuk, is he alright? 

**Bee Boy** : Ranboo? 

**Mr. Minecraft** : he’s ignoring his phone right now, but he’s eating and he’s slowly starting not to shake as much, so I’m taking that as a good sign. 

**Speedrun** : Does he need time off? 

**Mr. Minecraft** : I’d ask him tomorrow. 

**Speedrun** : Gotcha. 

**Sleep Moments:** Whenever he does look at this, we’re here for you, Ranboo. 

\--------------

**_Grocery Store FUCKS_ **

_Saturday 12:42 AM_

**Memory Boy:** thank you. 

\--------------

Ranboo feels so much better waking up in this house, in this room. He can’t explain it well, not when he’s still semi-nonverbal, but everything feels... lighter. He has food in the kitchen, Phil’s here, there’s people here at all, and he’s... Safer, in a way. 

It’s Saturday, so he doesn’t have school, but that just means he took an early shift at the store. That’s alright. He may not be feeling the best-his body aches, his shoulders hurt, and his eyes are so dry it almost hurts to blink-but there is no where he’d rather be than there right now. 

He shuffles out of the room-his room-still in yesterday’s clothing, and Phil smiles at him from the stove where he’s making breakfast, and it’s enough to make Ranboo tear up again. He doesn’t cry-who cries over breakfast?-but he does tear up. 

“Kristin’s in the shower right now, but you can snag it afterwards.” 

“Oh, I, I’ve got an early-” 

“I know, I’m driving you so you’ll have time. That is, if you don’t wanna take the time off Dream offered.” 

Ranboo pauses, before shaking his head. “I... It feels weird but it’s like... I got the courage to do this from them, so...” 

Phil nods, smiling so kindly at him. “I get it, mate. Sit, eat.” 

Ranboo sits, and he eats, and he feels the warmth from a home made breakfast flow through him and he just smiles. 

\--------------

_**Grocery Store FRICKS** _

_Saturday 7:09 AM_

**Mr. Minecraft** : Ranboo’s coming in today. 

**Speedrun** : K. I’m already here, getting ready to open. 

**Sleep Moments** : I am here too. I’m so fucking tired. 

**Demon** : Language! 

**Sleep Moments** : Where in the FUCK did you come from?? 

**Sleep Moments** : you are never awake right now. 

**Demon** : Language, again. 

**Sleep Moments** : Don’t avoid my question

 **Speedrun** : George, come help me...............

 **Sleep Moments** : ... 

**Sleep Moments** : This isn’t over bad. 

**Mr. Minecraft** : Bad? 

**Demon** : I just didn’t want to tell him I hadn’t slept yet. 

**Mr Minecraft** : ahh... 

**Mr. Minecraft** : want me to delete the messages? 

**Demon** : yeah. 

[Five messages deleted]

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! This was fun to do, I haven't written a lot for the Dream SMP yet. 
> 
> Also the group chat name does change, it's not different chats, it's the same one flip flopped between 'Grocery Store FUCKS' and 'Grocery Store FRICKS' whenever Bad gets a hold of it. Tommy, every time, without fail, goes 'you freaking frick' right after if he's awake. 
> 
> Another thing. I did not mean for this to be multiple chapters but uh. here we are. oops.
> 
> Tumblr is catboyangels!!


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